Monday, April 29, 2013

Aliens Invade Florence, AL at 4:44 a.m. Monday, April 29th



It’s true! I saw them myself. Well, not them exactly, but I saw a projection and their space ship. Well, not a spaceship exactly. It looked more like a short bus. But it was definitely alien. I could tell because it had white lights coming out of the many windows on the sides and white lights shining out on the front and back. It made a strange noise, too.

There I was, minding my own business, fast asleep dreaming about playing a practical joke on one of my friends when I suddenly heard a men’s choir sing a long sustained low “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” It got louder and louder until I woke up and realized that it wasn’t a dream. That was when I saw lights shining in through my bedroom curtains, and I jumped up to look out the window. For those of you who don’t know where I live, my house is set back off the road just a little bit (about half an acre), and that space is populated by a thick assortment of trees. Now, I know that some of you might say I didn’t have a clear view, but I know what I saw. It was an alien short bus with tall window. Surrounded by that white light and making a sound that I’ve never hear any machine make before, it had to be alien. Besides, it looked just like something off of an old 80’s scifi movie, so you know it had to be real.

Intrigued at this strange phenomenon, I was determined to find out exactly what it was. I hurried into the living room in order to watch its progress down the street. I followed it by rushing to the front door window, then the kitchen front window, then the kitchen side window, then back to the French door. I wasn’t going to let it out of my sight. I watched it as it turned and wound around the curved road behind my house and then back again, travelling at a slow steady pace. It finally stopped at the end of a street (right in the middle of the one that goes in front of my house and the one that goes behind it). I couldn’t see it anymore at this point, but I could still hear it. I continued to watch out my kitchen window for a while. The fact that I had to lean uncomfortably over the faucet to see out barely registered.

So, here I am, at 4:44 in the morning (I looked at the clock at this point.) standing in a dark kitchen with a faucet pressing into my gut, starring out my window straining to hear that strange “Ahhhhhh,” just to satisfy my curiosity. As I waited for something else to happen, I realized that this would be a great opening to a Dr. Who episode. (The one with David Tennant, of course.) I had to laugh at the ridiculousness of that idea. After all, he wasn’t real.

As I stared out the window looking for my alien transport and letting my mind wonder, I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, that it seemed like a light had suddenly gone out over to the right by my shed. Frustrated that I had missed something, I kept watching that spot, and the shed suddenly lit up again. I followed the beam and saw that it came from the road. I rushed back to the front window and searched for the source of the light. What I saw confirmed my belief that it was aliens. There was a huge face made out of orange light staring at me from the road. I could see it clearly through the trees. Then, just as I began to wonder, the light went out and the face disappeared. I continued to gaze at that spot, and sure enough, it came back a few seconds later. (Thirty seconds to be exact. I counted.) It appeared and disappeared several times, staying on for an indeterminate amount of time and going off for about thirty seconds. But one thing was always the same. That face. That strange, huge, orange alien face. He didn’t move; he didn’t speak; he just stared.

So, there you have it. My experience with an alien sighting. It was an experience I will always remember. (Well, for a while at least. I don’t really have a great memory.)

Oh, I should probably mention a couple of other things just as a warning. The alien craft seemed to have stopped at the utility department. That could only mean that they are attracted to the power supply. I know that’s the reason because a little later I noticed that the orange Mercury vapor light on the street where the face appeared was blinking on and off at thirty-secondish intervals.

Maybe I should run to the store and pick up some bread and milk. You know, just in case.

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